Butterfly Kisses

One of the neatest things about this pregnancy has been to be on the 'other-side'. Even though I've been pregnant twice before, this time has been really special. It has taught me things that will make me a much better doula and childbirth educator and given me tricks to make me a much better pregnant lady :).

During my journey I've been reminded that as much as I don't frequent ultrasounds these are very difficult to resist, eating 60-80 grams of protein is really difficult, knee-chest position is really difficult at 38 weeks pregnant (and it makes your knees go numb!), telling your health care provider you don't want a test can be really hard to do (even when they support that decision 100%). I could go on and on but I am just so thankful for these lessons!

As I get closer and closer to my birthing time I can't help but think about how blessed and excited I am. I know so many women out there look forward to labor as a means to an end, but I am so very delighted to experience the joy, challenge and anticipation that is childbirth. I however am so looking forward to tapping into the strength of the 33 women whose hands I have held during their birthing times. It is what gives me so much excitement. I remember Drea and her calm disposition after hours upon hours of pushing. Jessica who had weeks and weeks of prodromal labor only to finally have labor start with her water breaking! Megan who labored for three days, never losing her hope and power. Katie who tuned into herself and trusted her body to know exactly what it was doing. I could go on and on and on. Every woman I have stood beside has given me such a gift. I have had the joy of seeing how beautiful labor can be. How strong women can be. How loving partners can be. And how snuggly those babies can be.

Over the last few weeks I have also had my friends giving me empowerment. We had my mother's blessingway a few weeks back. It is a celebration to help give the mom good energy, thoughts and blessings heading into her birthing time. It was my first time having one and it was so beautiful. My friends Jodi and Alicia hosted it and really did a wonderful job of making it symbolic. They gave me bricks to symbolize where the women before me had stood. They put together a tree with their fingerprints on it to remind me of their support during the labor and a bead birthing necklace to give me strength during the birth. Jodi dropped off the necklace last night and sitting there holding it I felt this overwhelming sense of calm and peace. I just know with all of these strong amazing women along my side there is no doubt that I will have an amazing birthing experience.

With my last birth I wanted to keep my laboring a secret. What if I failed at my natural childbirth or even worse my VBAC attempt? I didn't want anyone part of the process except my husband by my side. This time I plan to let my wonderful inner circle of friends in on the secret. Knowing they are out there thinking of me, supporting me, loving me will give me the strength to move mountain.

Baby, I am ready whenever you are!